let's burn the roof, and then we'll do it again
can you hear the roar from within
not quite a roar, a silent gnashing
sidle to the left, not far from the middle.
its awake now. its stretching,
flexing, pulling. its caught my breath
clutching on with everything ive fed it:
the blackest things ive fed it.
it knows my deepest.. darkest.. tears.
it surfaces now, with it everything it knows
about me. with everything i do not know about it.
All the world is but child’s play
the real beast is within. let it out at last.
-unknown
its not a good feeling, as everything around you spins out of control and in the midst of it all, i sit not doing anything, to some extent, not being able to do anything. or, maybe its the other way around. that everything is following its natural order or things and here i am imploding within. when did i become the kind of person who inflicts pain on others. but its not fair. because im not allowed to stop doing it?
i find it comforting/disturbing that the thing i seem to be good for is, being there.
i have crazy buff oglings. i have crazy oglings. both scare me.
i love my oglings. they are oh-so-stone, and then they come round and make me wanna hug em to death.
they pretend to be cool, but they sekritly just wanna break it down (:
my heart swelled and i wanted to leap when i heard them shout Gallbladder!!! of their own accord.
i am in awe of people like jon lian and jaryl who are able to orchestrate such a piece. they are my new heroes.
i wish my oglings would put their pics on facebook. i wish i had time to put mine on facebook/look through them.
i now love the playground at top of the 8
the tan from War Games was my first in almost a year.
for the first time i stayed up all night
i wanted to show them so badly i cared but didnt know how
id like to think some of them get it, the way they look at me
i have not slept in 43 hours.
I’m not the easiest person to love
I’m often the one who lets things go unresolved
Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
I’m not too proud of some things
I’ve done in my life
The skeletons in my closet
Are too big for me to hide
Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Blessed Charity
You’re on the side of me
on the side of me
‘Cause everyone needs a friend to hold
when it’s cold outside
and there’s no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
I remember when nobody cared
but you
I’m not the easiest person to love
But you, you’ve opened your heart to show me what I’m worth
‘Cause you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
What a mystery
You’re on the side of me
on the side of me
‘Cause everyone needs a friend to hold
when it’s cold outside
and there’s no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
I remember when nobody cared
Nobody cared
But you
Yeah you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
im ditching physics tuition homework for the time being. because im tired, because i have things on my mind, and above all, because i believe that it is possible to complete any amoutn of work, at any time in the day as long as you persevere. so i will sleep at 3 today.
i am disillusioned. about Orientation. because now i know for sure that people find Orientation activities fake and tiresome and useless. ive always felt that kind of undercurrent, but now its out in the open and people are talking about it. thats bad. i am tired. i want to cry but i dont know exactly for what reason. i just told my OGLing today: ‘Yay im glad, super! that means we did our job and thats the most impt thing of all. Heck work. J1s deserve a good O.’
but now that you know that there are J1s out there who no longer believe in Orientation its like your kid just told you they dont believe in the tooth fairy and Santa. reality bites and they grow old and cynical too fast. live a little, believe a little. im not a very Orientation person. not really cos im not very high. but something about Orientation makes me high. really, i dont make a conscious effort to. at the beginning i thought id have to remind myself to, but after the initial awkwardness, it was alright. and its not so bad cos j1s are almost our age, so its really easy to get along with them. its like i retained and now have a new og (:
but j1s dont believe in the spirit of Orientation. its an initiation process: knowing what Story___ is. know what Wargames is (im sorry, its your lost). its like NS. its shitty and useless and yada all that, but its also a common binding experience that men talk for for decades after. they meet and compare platoons and people they know from army. its part of being in this school. not Raffles, but a part of this student body. having gone through the same process as everyone else has. i wouldnt feel complete without O.
esp in the dead of the night, being tired and all, im afraid to imagine what MY og is like. what they really think/say about us and orientation. it matters to me because everyone deserves to start school with a blast. no one wants an og/ogls that do not do their job. who suffers? the oglings. we are here for you. dont be gracious, dont think and analyze so much and just be a normal permahigh kid. last chance, before you hit the books.
and at the end of it, i wonder why this great debate? is it important to me that im antagonizing over it?
right now, yeah.
have i ever said that makeup is rly a pain in the ass? because it is. which is why i put concealer then i die of exhaustion alry. esp since you CANT touch your face after. eeee
anyway, this week has been hectic. really and truly. even more than usual. to cut a long week short, i was doing something every hour of the day until i reach home, usually after 10. this week can be considered better i think, even with Orientation looming ahead. ah, Orientation. will it all be worth it?
anyway, i really have nothing smartsy to say… SO LISTEN TO THIS. maybe its the most layman level of love… which makes it the highest love out there. make sense? k nvm. just love it (: (sorry the choice of videos are limited. dont watch, just listen)
Yo, this song goes out to all you sexy girls who push the dim sum carts all
over the world…you know who you are, babies…you work so hard and we love
you so much….check it out yo
Its been so long since Ive seen you smile
looking so good coming down that aisle
with that sexy dress and a little dim sum
makes me crazy when I order chow fun
people – theyre telling me
that i shouldnt bother with a lady
like you – you rock my world
yes you – my dim sum girl
watching…waiting…waiting for you baby
to tell me that Im the guy for you and that you wanna be my lady
one day yes you will see – that I will always be
the one who will make fried rice for you for all eternity
Dim sum girl
you really rock my world
my dim sum girl
I never thought id find a
girl from northern china
who make me feel so good
Dim sum girl
in such a crazy world
my dim sum girl
Im going to make it all right
we can party all night
so beautiful and pure
My dim sum girl
Why you gotta tease me, baby…
youre driving me crazy
dont you see…
dont play me like that, baby – please
just give me one chance
In the morning – at noon, at night
I think about you and it feels so right
so happy – when you look my way
when i talk to you you make my day
I see the tears in your eyes
please my baby dont you cry
tomorrow is a whole new day
lets me and you sing karaoke
Together…forever…thats the way its got to be
please make my dream come true so I can live my fantasy
oh say that youll be mine – you know its a matter of time
come eat my rice with your chopsticks and leave the spoon behind
Dim sum girl
you really rock my world
my dim sum girl
I never thought Id find a
girl from northern china
who make me feel so good
Dim sum girl
in such a crazy world
my dim sum girl
Im going to make it all right
we can party all night
so beautiful and pure
My dim sum girl
I dont wanna live without you dim sum girl
take me away to your dim sum world
I want to hold you
I want to squeeze you
please say you will be mine – all mine
i do occasionally listen to (whatever this genre is) its the beat, and i can just dance shamelessly and very badly to it in my room.
the only excuse ill allow myself is that she/he needed me
i realise i am very much how others are to me, because im sensitive to things like that, how people are around me. be weird, and i just might not be able to help it but be too.
so thats why i love my class, theres nothing weird there and theres just so much gayness it erases everything else. yay for half days.
you really have to change your opinions of people when you see what love theyre capable of. just because its not directed at you doesnt make it any less wonderful
If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she’s my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’ re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU… The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her…
Anonymous
“So how is this gonna work , Mr Shine?”
“I have absolutely no idea, but it will. I promise you that”
i think Hey Soul Sista could be my theme song for the year. can you just imagine that beat at the background thumping as we do our thing. invigorating, its like a war cry or the rhythm of our daily mundanes.
i am not ready for school.
i am very afraid of the A levels. help me please.
maybe its not for you, but its for me. this is what my life partner would be. if everyone had that soul person theyd be crazy about forever, now wouldnt that be something
(listen to the beat at the back. its more clear in the first verse)
Hey, hey
Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains
I knew I wouldn’t forget you, and so I went and let you blow my mind
Your sweet moonbeam, the smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided, you’re the one I have decided who’s one of my kind
Hey soul sister, ain’t the Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain’t fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don’t want to miss a single thing you do…tonight
Hey, hey
Just in time, I’m so glad you have a one-track mind like me
You gave my life direction, a game show love connection we can’t deny
I’m so obsessed, my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
I believe in you, like a virgin, you’re Madonna, and I’m always gonna wanna blow your mind
Hey soul sister, ain’t that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain’t fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don’t want to miss a single thing you do…tonight
The way you can’t cut a rug, watching you’s the only drug I need
You’re so gangsta, I’m so thug, you’re the only one I’m dreaming of
You see, I can be myself now finally, in fact there’s nothing I can’t be
I want the world to see you be with me
Hey soul sister, ain’t that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain’t fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don’t want to miss a single thing you do tonight,
Hey soul sister, I don’t want to miss a single thing you do…tonight
Hey, hey
Tonight
Hey, hey
Tonight
Now that shes back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that theres time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey
Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there
Now that shes back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that theres room to grow, hey, hey
Now that shes back in the atmosphere
Im afraid that she might think of me as plain ol jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know youre wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way
why cant i just be the best person i know i can be now
i feel… unaccomplished. even though today was EA and we did things according to plan. things were sluggish, there was a gap of an hour of more before EA started where decor bummed around with its members being poached by War Games. then our OG was slack (which i dont mind because i was quite tired then too) so it felt like a non event. im quite sure our actual OG will never be like that because even though mooty and i are slackers at heart, we may or may not take the challenge but Nig will never fail to rise to the occasion. although sundance was awesome ttm, it got watered down by stuff later.
but to cap off a tiring day, i find out my weekend is totally gone. absolutely totally. my weekend to mug/recover from orientation has been reduced to two hours on saturday. saturday goes like: school training-> combined schools training -> cheries party. and sunday is like: church -> tuition -> class dinner? ack. i want to run and hide.
i dont even take on that many things, why does everything clash. goodbye lmfc, although you are an awesome floorball team, i have no space. sucks. !!!! lmfc ):
it left so quickly. i was still in the lobby of my hualien hotel when 2009 left me. then 2010 hit me in the face. or not. it snuck up behind me and slowly engulfed me, changing the colours of the walls, the people around me, the curtains the weather. everything. its a new year and my friend 2009 will never come back. 2009 was so much better to me than 2008 ever was. but i still think of 2008 as ‘not too long ago’. i am SO afraid of thinking of things that happened in 2008, knowing now that they are no longer ‘recent’. they are part of my history. and NO i dont want to let them go. they are so integral to me, they cant have fled already. so many things have changed and left me, i really want them back. the people, the familiarity. 2010 is full of trepidation, of wariness. 2009 was my year to put myself out. try new things. BE reckless. be everywhere at once. i solemnly swear i will gather back my 2008 ways and be a studious mugger. you have been forewarned. 2009 healed my wounds, opened new ones afresh, gave me new friends, a new circle of very insane and very awesome classmates, schoolmates, batchmates. 2009 gave me bad results. a heartache. i really cant get it back can i?
2010 snuck up behind me and said, ‘peekaboo.’
Leona Lewis – I Got You
Go ahead and say goodbye
I’ll be alright
Go ahead and make me cry
I’ll be alright
And when you need a place
To run to
For better or worse
I Got You
Priscilla Ahn – Dream
I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.
I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.
Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I’m supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.
I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.
Now I’m old and feeling grey. I don’t know what’s left to say about this life I’m willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there’s many tales I’ve lived to tell. I’m ready now, I’m ready now, I’m ready now to fly from the highest wing.
I had a dream
its a strange way to start a new year, but ill do a proper post another time. because i just got back from taiwan and crap, its overwhelming how much ive got to catch up on. argh ):
God i miss it so much. Then ill cry out and wonder why things turn out the the way they do I miss last year
so maybe im feeling a little sad now. a little disillusioned almost and tired and… pressured.
really, i wish i could escape for awhile and rearrange my world the way id love it. not things id say here or anywhere visible really, but im trying to make things work and when they’re not, i just want to let go completely. as if i have alternate universes i could alternate between. sometimes i dont know if im just living in the moment, doing and saying things, then when i withdraw from it for awhile, or when something gives me a reality check, i realise this isnt what i want to be doing, this isnt where i want to be. then i beat myself up for letting myself end up somewhere i dont want to be.
i guess i just want to say that im sad. it doesnt matter that its christmas eve. that doesnt mean that i have to be happy, or that the fact that im not is more tragic than it would be on any other day. it just means im sad. and im going to stop pursuing other irrelevant unimportant things. im going to stop thinking about how i want to get an ipod, how i want vans or anything. no imacs. why am i so material.
this made my day (:
Lyngerie says:
its so sad
its like
your world is bigger
the tube of smarties says:
ummm
Lyngerie says:
and you have a wider range of vision than me
haha im -.- and you’re 0.0
cos your eyes are bigger!
the tube of smarties says:
OMG
hahahahahahaha
yes lyn
i believe that everything looks like they do through a raindrop to me
Lyngerie says:
HAHAHAHAHA
but i used to wonder
the tube of smarties says:
beeeeg and rooound
Lyngerie says:
then i was sad ):
the tube of smarties says:
HAHAHAHA
Lyngerie says:
falala
loved it, love it again.
i need to start studying seriously. there are only so many days left and i am clueless about physics. absolutely totally clueless. i love the beginnings of new years though. the feeling that you start afresh (cue spring clean and new stationary 
D) is renewing. but the coming year is not a good year. A levels are not good thing and i do not want 2010 to come. nice number that it may be. and maybe also because this holidays suck. im spending the last few days of 2009 in taiwan (unwillingly. i dont want to miss training and oteam wtheck. it frustrates me to no end ugh) and there is like no freaking christmas celebrations this year? omg. sucks ttm. so its a bad end to 2009 and im not really looking forward to 2010. but anyhoo, new year feeling pwns everything, and im starting to think and plan.
okay going to study.
and i know why i like to not use capital letters. because then everything is nice and small. This looks ununiformed and it irritates me.
so cute! (from zhenyis blog)
“As he said good bye he felt again that it was impossible to leave her, even for a few hours. There was only ten years between them but he felt that madness about it akin to the love of an aging man for a young girl. It was a deep and desperate time-need, a clock ticking with his heart, and it urged him against the whole logic of his life to walk past her into the house now—and say “This is forever.”
The Love of the Last Tycoon – F. Scott Fitzgerald
Lark sat back, her hands on the skirt on her heavy thighs, back straight, her handsome face set. “Fear,” she said. “What are we so afraid of? Why do we let ‘em tell us we’re afraid? What is it they’re afraid of?” She picked up the stocking she had been darning, turned it in her hands, was silent for a while; finally she said, “What are they afraid of us for?”
Tehanu by Ursula K. Le Guin
“What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Self-Reliance”
When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams—this may be madness. To seek treasure where there is only trash. Too much sanity may be madness. And maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be.
Miguel De Cervantes, “Don Quixote”
I awoke to the sound of voices outside. The director whose party my parents had taken my grandmother to the night before was outside at the table, under the umbrella, eating brunch. The director’s wife was sitting by his side. My grandmother looked well under the shade of the umbrella. The director began to talk about the death of a stuntman on one of his films. He talked about how he missed a step. Of how he fell headfirst onto the pavement below.
“He was a wonderful boy. He was only eighteen.”
My father opened another beer.
My grandfather looked down, sadly. “What was his name?” he asked.
“What?” the director glanced up.
“What was his name? What was the kid’s name?”
There was a long silence and I could only feel the desert breeze and the sound of the jacuzzi heating and the pool draining and Frank Sinatra singing “Summer Wind” and I prayed that the director remembered the name. For some reason it seemed very important to me. I wanted very badly for the director to say the name. The director opened his mouth and said, “I forgot.”
Less Than Zero, Bret Easton Ellis
“I hadn’t gotten old enough yet to realize that living sends a person not into the future but back into the past, to childhood and before birth, finally, to commune with the dead. You get older, you puff on the stairs, you enter the body of your father. From there it’s only a quick jump to your grandparents, and then before you know it you’re time-traveling. In this life we grow backwards.”
Jeffrey Eugenides, “Middlesex”
“I can believe things that are true and things that aren’t true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they’re true or not.
I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen – I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.
I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone’s ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.
I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.
I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we’ll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.
I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.
I believe that mankind’s destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it’s aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there’s a cat in a box somewhere who’s alive and dead at the same time (although if they don’t ever open the box to feed it it’ll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.
I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn’t even know that I’m alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.
I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn’t done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what’s going on will lie about the little things too.
I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, a baby’s right to live, that while all human life is sacred there’s nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.
I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you’re alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”
American Gods, Neil Gaiman
been ages since i last posteddd
mostly because i havnt been online that much, and also because i havnt had time. i counted, and today is the first day, and will be the first day in 7 days i get to wake up at whatever time i want before 1. in the afternoon. tragic holiday. but ykw i need the time to reorganise and get ready for enxt year because im not! i still need to clear my table and more importantly, REVISE J1 things else i am screwed. verily.
but! yesterday i got my diary which is always something that makes me feel safe and prepared and happy. and it was only 6 bucks. whoop (: im becoming a scrooge. because i am very broke. but i just spent quite a bit on presents and i am even more so broke. it was because there were so many things to buy! that in the end it still amounted to quite a bit. oh well, as long as the joy derived = money spent. read todays review section.yes, so, im very broke and i counted. i probably have no money to spend in taiwan. which is awesome because its supposedly a shopping haven and ill be so very sad there D: i am a girl and i do like shopping. as long as its under 3 hours before i get tired and grumpy.
and i want VANS. and a grey slingbag. i thought about it, and i like grey, because it goes easily with alot of things i own. and i want vans because i havnt bought a pair of shoes since my 19.90 blue cotton on shoes! i think… but anyway, i need shoes!
so i am going to wish away december so that january may come and with it, my allowance, and since it is not december ill need to spend less. ill make up my deficit, then be in the black in february when i shall look for my vans first and bag second.
i have the itch to write in my diary, but i dont know what. i just want to feel it up with appointments and things i dont have. yet.
is there a need to be so mean? like really. i cant say anything its half painful half ridiculous.
and whoop china trip! i really enjoyed it DESPITE everything (more later) that happened. but im home sick. or was. my max i realise is like 7 days or 8. which goes to show i should stay in Singapore to study heh. we’ll see. i really dont feel like taking the SATs.
anyway what happened was. *drum roll* i lost my wallet, with 800RMB and my ipod AND PASSPORT inside it. win. i miss playing ttr, but i could just borrow jacob’s. my PASSPORT was the problem because we were flying for xian on the 4th day. and we ran around getting the temp passport, and exit permit and all the documents, but still, wasnt allowed to go to xi an. the person told us, “bie xiang qu xi an le”. this was when i got to see more of beijing than everyone with the china tour agency peeps. SO since i wasnt allowed to go, the teachers decided a last ditch attempt the day before we left for xi an was in order. and really, the power of raffles works even in China. we got the go ahead and i made it to xi an. either the power of raffles or the power of God or both, the former being due to the latter.
yup, and i didnt bring my camera. which i regretted ALOT at random moments but since my brother wouldnt let me take the d90, i see no point in compact cameras. plus every other person would have a camera, so plenty of photos of me anyway (:
and i have to say the best part of the trip was the 6E peeps. (and maybe 7C peeps too but 6E is my class so (: ) jon jacob cherie (: heh, interesting things happened, shant say more (:
umm, im lazy so i shall list down the interesting things: i didnt know the GWOC had steps. like a ton of them. and i got a bronchitis attack, the first in 6 yrs up there. jacob lost his phone. jon lost his awesome mizuno scarf. cherie broke the 6E curse and found her ipod. jon’s brother left a knuckle duster in his bag. thank god he was allowed on the plane. people fell sick, very sick. we changed flights due to bad weather. China has no smarties. neither does Singapore.
k bye!
china was fun.
but im feeling sian and sad right now. maybe i should stop caring about other things and just focus on getting myself back on track. otherwise, it wont be worth it. i want to spend a day lazing on the coach being totally at ease. thats all i need.
i spent an hour on a post yesterday exploring relationships. then i didnt post it in the end, but then today sulyn askedme some stuff which made me wonder if i should put that hour to good use. but i shant because its too much of myself to put up here. and though i like to think my blog is obscure, what if isnt
anyway, i think im really blessed. i was wondering today how i became goalie. and its mostdef not a glam sport of position, but it suits me perfectly. i was thinking, what if i had to do stick work and had to practice that much to have such good ball control. if i couldnt do it with a basketball, i doubt i could with a floorball and stick. im only good at pushing myself? like running is just making myself run and endure, and somewhat like it, i just have to make my body respond faster to block the ball. it suits me fine. and whats more, i have no idea why i was so ready to join floorball as a goalie, but i did, and it has been the best thing ever.a better CCA? i dont think so. i really am grateful for our seniors and for my batchmates. i entered in on a whim, and its worked out awesomely (: and then today, despite a busted wrist, the coach keeps me and lets someone else go? being goalie (and not a stick player) has opened so many doors for me, like Agape, LMFC and now combined schools. it was a whim, it may not have been my plan, but it really does seem like His plan and im so grateful.
whims are great.
i dont know. i think sometimes when we think things are hard, theyre going terribly, you see how God has solves one of your past problems so wonderfully, you cant help but trust that he’ll make this okay too. yay.
oh this is not the way that it should end,
its the way it should begin,
its the way it should begin, again
No, i never want to fall apart
never want to break your heart,
never want to let you break my heart
Yes, i know we said alot of things
that we probably didnt mean
but its not too late to take them back
so before you say you gonna go
i should probably let you know
i never knew what i had
i never knew what i had
unless you know absolutely what this means dont speculate. because i dont really either.
but i have it blasted on my rooms speakers which is awesome, because with the bass and all, it beats laptop speakers by a mile, and i was thinking if i should change my msn nick. then i was thinking, wouldnt it be great it i could put this song on msn. like play it to everyone. that music to me. it should be played. so im running this song over and over. for almost 4 hours already. or maybe more?
i should get started on chem, yet im talking to people. to lyn, jan, jacob, tim, lingmin all at the same time (just kill my phone bill now please thanks) but its making me happy so i shall procrastinate and regret it later. but when i write it down like that, yes im happy (: i have mapeeps and yay (:
SGspree